Personal post. Autism sucks, can you help this family?

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Personal post. Autism sucks, can you help this family?.

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Proud Momma share

Happy quick little note today. The Little Dude completed school for the year. Aside from one more in person science class next Wednesday all of his school work for the year is over. Next year he will be doing 5 grade. YAY! He is of course super happy about getting to move over to the summer sleep schedule of staying up an hour later and sleeping in, which makes me giggle as I almost never wake him up early or even at all. One of the perks of homeschooling is we start when we feel like it. So hooray for the Little Dude on finishing school 3 weeks early.

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Now to the Big Guy. He came home in a great mood today. He has completed his history course for the year, including the final. Which he was super happy to say he only missed 2 questions and one of them he said was he accidentally clicked the wrong answer. Either way only missing 2 questions on a final in a course he somewhat struggled with this year is fantastic. We are so super proud of him for this. One course down and getting very close on the others. Seeing him come home from school so obviously proud of himself made this mommas day.

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Tomorrow we all get a break and are going on a field trip with the school to OMSI to see the dinosaur exhibit. We are all excited for this one and to spend some time as a family in a place we love. This mom is super happy and really needed this day. It makes everything a little lighter when the kids are so exuberant. Perfect ending to a long week.

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Always Love,

Domi

 

You can learn more about us and what we are doing at

https://www.facebook.com/Riosdreams

donations can be made at:

http://www.youcaring.com/other/building-blocks-for-birthday-dreams/151773

and purchases can be made at:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/RiosBdayDreams

 

 

Painful reflections can highlight today’s joy.

Today was an odd day. I was looking for a legal form so started going through all of my files. I started to find old evaluation papers for the boys and that is always hard for me to deal with. I started to get visibly upset and River noticed. (people who say autism means no empathy are idiots btw) So he is asking me why I am upset and I tell him that sometimes it is hard for me to remember just how hard it has been for him.

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It is hard.

It is hard to remember the first day I found out there was a problem. The day his 1st grade principle calls to tell me that he is missing. That he got upset and ran out of class and they couldn’t find him. TO be told that this was not the first time this had happened and no one had ever told me that. The panic I felt as I raced to that school and the anger that this place where he was supposed to be safe had misplaced my child. I found him myself, hiding in the bathroom stall, curled up in a ball with his coat over his head. He was unable to talk, unable to move. I carried him in this ball out of that school and took him home and sat with him for 2 hours while he decompressed. I still to this day don’t know how many times that had happened before this incident.

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It is hard to remember the struggles, How in second grade he had another shut down episode where I had to come in and find my child curled up on the floor with his coat over him rocking himself and unable to talk. How after 15 minutes of me soothing him I was able to get him to stand and walk in to the principles office. How the principle then informed him that if he didn’t start behaving at school he would get in trouble and maybe the police would take him away from his mommy. Of the storm of panic in his face when she said those words. Of how I had to hold myself together so that the police wouldn’t be taking me away from him after I severely beat her. He never returned to that school.

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How in the 3rd grade right after his brother was born, the school promised the perfect placement in a classroom specifically for kids like my baby. A place where we all talked about his needs and set up a plan for how to deal with his problems. A place where a disturbed aid who didn’t care for children provoked my son. How she cornered him in the room and when he pushed past her she decided to press charges on him for assault. How she had the 300 lb school liaison officer come in and handle him instead of calling me. I remember the panic when they call me to say he is being arrested. The fear as I wait 2 hours for them to let me pick him up. The devastation when I got my baby home and see the bruises on his arms, a hand print clearly marked out on his shoulder. The abrasions and his fear. That was the worst moment of my life.

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I watch him now and am so proud of where he is. He has learned so much about himself. He is aware of who he is and where he struggles. We had to talk today about what will happen when he is 18. How I will have to file for POA and declare him unfit. How I didn’t want him to think that meant anything was wrong and that he just needed more time to grow. He was actually way cooler with it then I am. He said he knows he isn’t ready to be an adult. He knows he can’t manage himself and that he isn’t in a rush to be an adult.

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I am so proud of the young man he is becoming and having to relive the pain of the past hurts but also helps me see just how very far he has come. I want to give him the world. I want him to never have to have the pain he has dealt with again. This child is my biggest hero and whenever I feel like I can’t continue a fight I remember how hard he has had to fight. I want to be like him.

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Always Love,

Domi

You can learn more about us and what we are doing at

https://www.facebook.com/Riosdreams

donations can be made at:

http://www.youcaring.com/other/building-blocks-for-birthday-dreams/151773

and purchases can be made at:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/RiosBdayDreams

Building Blocks for Birthday Dreams

I started a facebook page to try and raise money to take the boys to Lego Land for River’s birthday. I have updated it with some personal stories and was encouraged to start a blog about all of it. Some people say I can write pretty words. 😉 I do enjoy writing and some days it helps to get it out there. Some days are very rough. Some days are amazing. This is the bit about how it all started.Image

 

River was diagnosed with asperger’s when he was 8. This diagnosis came after a very rough couple of years where he was kicked out of 3 schools for attempting to elope and hiding. That all culminated in a horrific traumatizing event where he ended up being arrested and I decided that was the end of public school.

This June my son River will turn 18. If you know River you will know he is the sweetest kindest 17year old boy who dotes on the younger kids and loves pokemon and lego. He is working hard to make friends. However, he is not 17 as most boys would be. He relates well with his 9 year old brother (who is also autistic) and the other kids about that age. I love the childlike innocence in him. 

River has really struggled with his asperger’s syndrome. When he was younger, it took over his life. He didn’t know how to make friends. Sounds and lights terrified him. Crowds were torture. Tastes and textures were traumatic. He was happiest living his life alone in his bedroom with his legos. It was very hard to reach him.

Years have passed and River has grown. He is learning how to handle himself. He can go shopping without losing his head. Though sounds still bother him he can tolerate them. He is going to a school with other students now that he is learning to interact with. He is finally really engaged in the world around him.

Between the struggles River has had and my own health issues I haven’t been able to work outside of the home for many years. We have struggled financially and I haven’t been able to do alot of things for my sons that kids dream about. River has never complained or begged and always seemed to understand.

A few months ago he brought an advertisement for LegoLand to me and asked if we could go. It broke my heart when I had to say that was something I couldn’t do for him. He understood and didn’t complain. He just said ok well maybe someday and went back to creating his fancy lego creatures.

I have been working hard to make life better and get on our feet, I have started my business and am pushing to move that forward but these things take time.

I want to give my son a wonderful childhood memory while he is still a child.

I run my own business where I make soaps and other items. I will be listing Building block and mini fig soaps and magnets online to be purchased in the hopes I can raise enough funds to take my kids to Lego Land for Rivers 18th birthday. I will also be listing a page to accept donations if anyone would be willing to help.

Asking for help is not my strong point. My son has had a really rough life, I just want to give him something good that he will always cherish. ALL funds raised, even if it isn’t enough for the dream trip, will go to giving him the best 18th birthday we possibly can.

 

So that is the story of that, if you want to help that page is:

donations can be made at:

http://www.youcaring.com/other/building-blocks-for-birthday-dreams/151773

and purchases can be made at:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/RiosBdayDreams

 

So I will do this blog, and I will talk about our lives. I will open us up to your eyes and opinions. Please be nice.

 

Always Love,

Domi